ghosts can’t touch me, with them i become senseless. I can hardly breath but there’s no air coming into me, i’m afraid of reality, of things and feelings and feelings and feelings and smiles and tears, i’m afraid because they do touch me, the may hurt me. I used to run away from light, stay in the dark corner, letting the ghosts (called solitude) roam inside my veins, making me feel empty, empty, sensless, safe.
but then there was you. you promised me the world i have feared, you encouraged it to touch me, to hurt me, you took my hand and thaught me to breath life, to touch matter, to stay away from static, to breath smoke, to feel pain, to keep some distance from myself.
you did it, just like you promised. somehow i’ve became addicted. i cannot go back to the place where nothing can be seen clearly, where my imaginations covers all surfaces turning them smooth and pleasant. i don’t wan’t it anymore. once you feel, you can’t stop.
i dare to call it love.
there is no way out now. i won’t need to decide between emptiness and blood.
from now on, i choose the pain, tears, dirt, wounds… all those things i dare to call love.
